I do.

( Well. She exhales, and exhales unhappily or maybe just dissatisfied with the words she is using, when she is meant to be better than this. )

I did. I— I thought that joining the Chantry and serving the Maker would change me. And I think it did? I believed I was different.

( And then she came to Eudio, and perhaps that is the painful difference between them. Leliana in her own world had found it easier to have faith in herself and her purpose and everything else, but in Eudio she was presented with the possibility of a future that went against all of that. It echoed Marjolaine's words all too easily. For a moment she is silent, head tucked against Sara, and it might feel slightly ridiculous to be like this when she's taller than Sara, but she opts that it's definitely not. )

Alistair told me once that I frighten him. We were joking around at the time, but... with everything that the others have said, I just keep going over and over what our party have said. Foolish comments made while travelling or around the campfire, or... we see a lot of terrible things. I wondered sometimes if that prompted them to certain words, and even to actions, but that does not mean that I am not a deceiver, or frightening, or simply a graceful killer.

( Her words are spoken softly, but it does not mask the emotion in them, a degree of fear. ) I don't know what to do.